Wow Marlo - that was quite a post about the wedding!!
I've probably said bits & pieces of the following here on this forum before, but here goes....
How someone envisions their wedding day/marriage is highly unique and personal depending on the individual (and often this goes back to childhood - dare I say especially
for girls because of our culture, e.g. Disney Princesses, fairy tales & such). My own vision from a young age was fairly non-traditional, that is - I had zero interest in a "traditional" wedding (the kind I was familiar with growing up...meaning fancy wedding dress, tuxes, church ceremony, elaborate cake, bridesmaids & groomsmen with their special clothes, rented venue for the reception, elaborate invitations, seating charts/table cards, hiring djs/bands/photographers, sit-down meal, and so on)....not sure why exactly but I never did, I just didn't want all that fuss & formality. And perhaps most important, I long felt that the ceremony or the moment
per se when two people become a couple (legally) is ideally a very private one....therefore my husband & I eloped in 1989 after knowing each other five years. Celebrating the fact that the marriage happened afterwards in an informal, party way was wonderful (and we had a few smallish celebratory parties with our closest friends & family within the month we were married) - there was zero stress, relatively little planning & cost involved and it was all so mellow and relaxed and suited us
. The key word here is what suits you
, not what suits others or some vision of what you think you should do. Haha - I think my husband had it easy that I felt the way I did since childhood - because he felt the same way....and at the risk of sounding totally sexist
- I think it's more the women (of course there are some men who want all that
too) who want the "Wedding" with a capital W and all its trappings.
Having said all that, I meant no
disrespect to people who choose different wedding style paths.
And since we have two teenage daughters who on occasion muse about their
own wedding vision, I *never* "diss" what they say and what is appealing to them - why would I? They may be my children, but they are not me