To the fine ladies of the paradise that will be Deck 666, I offer the following:
Tired of all the drunken men lurking the hallways in search of comfort in your sweet, soft arms?
Weary of being followed from gig to cabin by sweaty, male metalheads keeping notes on their t-shirts?
Need a break from stepping off your elevator at any given time of day only to be greeted by throngs of hairy, drooling neanderthals whose only aim seems to be to grope and paw at your angelic forms?
Fear not! There is an Oasis on the Seas!!
Simply continue on down the elevator for 3 more floors. Step off, turn left and look for the cabin bearing one or more of these symbols:
Knock lightly or loudly upon the door as you see fit and enter into the luxuriant paradise of The Penguin Salon! Here you will be spoiled with a variety of soothing treatments offered in a wide range of intensity and sensuality. From the very innocent, no-touch, eyes only, head to toe energy bath to the deep tissue, up against the wall full on BFE experience, your pleasure awaits you. It is but for you to name!
Calgon's got NOTHIN' on US!
PS - If the cabin's a rockin', knock anyways